TITLE: A HANDFUL OF LIFE

AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE

CLASSIFICATION: Post-ep for "The Red and the
Black"

RATING: PG


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The best thing about her situation was still
being alive.

Or maybe that was the worst thing.

She recognized the surrounding room only some
time after regaining consciousness. Then again,
had she really been unconscious beforehand? She
had been paralyzed as an invading organism
tightened itself around her mind. Yet her own
self had still been present, chained and only
able to watch the invader. She remembered shreds
of what she had witnessed. There had been
blackness occasionally changing to strong light,
and then fading to darkness again. She also
recalled words spoken in a language which she
couldn't recognize.

None of those memories could help her now. When
the organism left her body, she was confused yet
relieved. She was in a weakened state, but she
should have been feeling a lot worse. The sight
of medical equipment also comforted her. At
first, she thought that her body had been found
and taken to the hospital. She also assumed that
the organism must have transferred itself to a
new host.

Then her sluggish awareness noticed the circle
of windows above her.

And she realized where she really was.

Fear almost made her sit up, but her weary
muscles couldn't even respond to terror.
Furthermore, there was nowhere to go. She
wouldn't have been able to get past the nearest
door.

She surrendered to the examining table under her
back and to waiting. She spent many minutes
wondering who was going to walk through the
door. A group of doctors with blades? A man who
would quickly enter with a gun and quickly
leave?

Alex?

One person she didn't expect was the old man who
entered the room. He walked up to the examining
table and looked down at her in a way both stern
and regretful.

"I needn't have to tell you about your lack of
resources now," he said in a quiet, British-
accented voice. "Nor about your dearth of
choices."

She was just strong enough to nod slightly.

"In return, you don't have to explain why you
betrayed the Project. You are not the first to
do so. Whatever your motivation -- personal
idealism, survival -- is not important to me.

"What *is* important is that you might be the
first step towards a better future than we could
have imagined."

The bewilderment in her eyes made him smile
slightly. "You must be wondering what happened
to the black oil."

She exerted the muscles in her chest and throat
in order to say, "Trans...ferred..."

"No. You were cured."

She almost sat up again, this time in surprise.
She also felt an emotion so long forgotten that
it felt improbable to experience.

She felt hope -- hope for everyone.

"Alex stole a sample of the vaccine from the
Russians," the Englishman explained. "We are now
trying to replicate it."

He lifted a finger. "Bear in mind that it took a
long time to stop the virus in your body. Nor do
we know if it's capable of stopping the virus
under all circumstances. However, I believe that
we have the means of going beyond what the
Russians have..."

The Englishman stopped himself, then sighed.
"Well...we'll have to see. Perhaps there is an
opportunity here. Perhaps not. Let us discuss
what will happen now to you."

She forced herself to look the Englishman in the
eye.

"What's keeping you alive is your status as a
test subject. Our research team is going to be
very interested in what would be the effects of
both the oil and the vaccine on a human body.
And you know how their curiosity makes
them...thorough."

Her breathing quickened, but she maintained eye
contact.

"It will be a painful existence for you. The end
will come when there is nothing more to be
learned. These are miserable consequences, but
you understood that such things would be
possible when you turned traitor."

He touched her on the hand as lightly as he
could. "Your suffering will have a meaning,
though. Through chance or design or both, you
have given us our first real weapon against the
colonists. For that, I thank you. This means
little...but I still give my thanks."

Her lips moved. The buzzing between her teeth
made the Englishman lean forward until his ear
hovered within an inch of her mouth.

Then he stood up straight. "No. He's not here.
I'm afraid that he has shown no interest in
seeing you. Under the circumstances, I think you
can understand why."

She made no attempt at sound or movement. The
look in her eyes gave no hint to her feelings.

"If it means anything, he'll be under my
protection. The rest of the group remains
suspicious of him. However, I daresay that they
are a bit suspicious of me now. So perhaps he'll
make the best ally I can find."

He pulled his hand away. "It is a strange time
in which we live. Even those who hold the
darkest secrets in the world have been surprised
by recent events. Who knows where will we be in
the next year?" The Englishman shrugged. "Maybe
you'll be the one who has to send me away. In
such a world, it is hard to find anything fixed
and dependable."

He looked thoughtful for a few moments, then
added, "Maybe life itself is the only true
constant. And even then..."

He shook his head. "Good-bye, young lady."

Her eyes didn't watch the Englishman as he left
the room. Instead, she looked up at the windows.
No light was shining above them.

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